Realitinya aku menangis

Serius aku insan lemah.
Serius aku insan yg mampu di goda oleh musuh  manusia iaitu syaitan.  Serius aku mempersoalkan urusan tuhan.
Serius aku ni tak bersyukur.
Serius aku ni mcm x payah sembahyang pun x apalah.
Serius apa yang aku cakap ni hasil dari luluhnya hati dari harapan.
Serius aku perlukan penyelesaian. Serius aku tahu ini ujian utkku tetapi kenapa susah sgt utk aku terimanya. Serius aku x mampu buat apa-apa.

Kau tuhan aku hamba mu.

Aku skrg ini ibarat hitam.
Serius aku perlukan mu Puteh.

Serius puteh yang tak putus harapan dgnku yang hingga extreme bagi aku penampor laju laju biar aku sedar sket.

Bukan apa penampor tuh utk aku sedar betapa hinanya keadaan aku skrg ini.

Serius aku nak kau.

Puteh!

Serius puteh aku tahu kau adlh harapan tuhan bgi utk aku.

P/s: aku bukak mata nangis kembali. Best betul kalau aku dlm dunia mimpi dan bukan realiti.

6.09pagi

Jenis Lelaki

Lelaki

Yang paling sweet itu yang bagi tahi.

P/s: doakan aku untuk masa depan aku yang jauh tak tentu lagi.

Realitinya

Hati ku semak,
Hati ku sempit,
Macam tak ada ruang ,
untuk cinta-cintun ni.

Bukan apa,
Kita buang masa,
buang tenaga ,
apatah lagi celaru rasa.

Bahagia, Seronok, Manis, Sayang
Itu yang best aje,

Perit, Pedih, Sedih, Sangsi, Cemburu, Kecewa...
Kuat pulak aku nak tadahkannya?

Bukan apa,
Semuanya kabur,
Tiada pangkal hujung,

Kalau kau sukakan aku,
Aku suka kan kau,
Jangan putus doanya,
Suatu hari nanti,
Insyallah dimakbulkan Ilahi.

I am SCARED

I've always been a girl who is ambitious,
I wanna climb the wall,
I wanna feel how hard is it to climb those wall,

I wanna jump off the building,
I wanna know how exhilarating it is,

I wanna dive in the sea,
I wanna feel the deepness of water , dark, scary but fascinating with the sea creatures,
I wanna be in front of people, giving out speech,
debates, arguing on my points, let them know what I'm dying to prove on,

I wanna be someone who useful to society,
I dream big,
I want to help strayed kids and show them the world are not always fair and it's us who changed it,

I wanna be a mother,
I will give out all my loved to those tiny human,
I will take care of them till they are big enough to do their own judgement,
and once a while they will come to their mama and ask did they do right in their life
and I loved to have those feeling.

All my dream are ambitious enough for me,

But The only thing that I'm afraid is,

to be in love again.
I'm damn scared of it.
I know I'm a chicken.

Do you know when your in love,
you are risking yourself to be hurt,
you let your heart exposed to pain,
and end up crying like a mad person?
and yet we still want it!

I wish I can be that strong ambitious woman without any feeling
so that I would not feel those pain...
Please tell me there a reason why we need to feel those pain.

p/s: my first blog post in 2013 turn out to be a heartbreaking emotion diary. I'm sorry you have to read this and thanks for your attention.

Am I ready for  this?

Writting that should be posted long way before. To those who listen , read , speaks and use their sensitivity.

I am a very sensitive person and expressing what I feel to the person that I LOVE is really a big matter to me. When I've been put down for once I will remember it and not letting it go.

3 years of relationship, I never regret it. Im in love, I learned how to love, I accept love. All those sweetness I treasured,I keep it in my memory box and I say thank you to them.

The dirty sides of love? I shall take it put in my memory box and use it as a lesson in my future.They are my handy men and I am thankful for that.

Things happen for it reason kan?

So, whatmore can I say except saying Allhamdulillah?

P/s : This is a left out blog post. And this puisi actually what I feel at that moment. Jazakallah...

Ya Allah,
Andai masanya belum tiba,
Jangan izinkan aku untuk jatuh cinta,
Aku memohon agar Kau tunjukkan jalan,
Agar Kau tunjukkan aku tuntutun yang perlu aku lakukan,
Jauhkanlah aku daripada kemaksiatan,
Jauhkanlah aku daripada perkara yang tidak dapat memberi manfaat,
Dan jauhkan aku daripada perkara yang Engkau murkai,
Agar aku dapat menjaga diri.

Ya Allah,
Jika aku jatuh cinta,
Izinkanlah aku menyentuh hati seseorang yang hatinya tertaut pada-Mu,
Jadikanlah aku yang mencintainya kerana agama yang ada padanya,
Jika dia hilangkan agama yang ada dalam dirinya,
Maka hilanglah cintaku padanya,
Sesungguhnya, cinta yang suci itu tidak buta.

Ya Allah,
Dan jika dia mencintai aku,
Biarkanlah dia mencintai aku kerana agama itu juga,
Asalkan dia tidak lebihkan cinta kepadaku melebihi cinta kepadaMu,
Supaya cinta itu bersemi di lembayung keredhaan-Mu,
Kerna dari situ lahirlah rahmah dan mawaddah dalam rumahtangga.

Ya Allah,
Jika ini bukan masanya,
Jika ini belum saatnya,
Dan jika Kau tahu kami belum bersedia,
Selamatkan kami,
Jarakkan kami,
Pisahkan kami,
Agar kami jauh dari khilaf yang merosak izzah dan iffah,
Agar kami tak mengundang murka-MU,
Agar kami dapat lebih menjaga hati,
Agar hati menjadi yang diredhai ilahi.

Ya Allah,
Andai dia bukan untuk ku,
Andai dia bukan jodohku,
Maka berilah ganti yang lebih baik buatnya,
Berikanlah dia insan yang benar benar terbaik buat kehidupannya,
Insan yang benar-benar mampu memimpinnya ke syurga-Mu,
Dan bantulah aku untuk memperbaiki diriku,
Agar aku kukuh dalam mencari cinta-Mu.

Ameen..

Sis I love you!

The moment when you think you want to quit , you have to rewind yourself back on how you are. Well you just arrived at one destination , you are new to that place , fresh and didn't know anything.Back to basic which means you are zero .

But now you are nearly ending , the hundreds meters you ran are nearly finish . You are gasping so hard , breathing for air but at the same time you are running and keep running because you want to REACH for it . At those moment you are 50/50 . You are thinking . Are you going to win? or Are you going to lose?

With those fatigues , weariness and also difficult mind to think wouldn't You cut the crap and just run! till the end. Cause you know you will be finish the race and the wining or losing isn't matter anyway.

So dear , please think all these thing that you are nearly finish . You will be going home sooner or later . We all cares and support you . We know you are so strong ,well Ghazi'ians are strong and tuff! so you are! We are proud of you! So keep on hanging there and run till the finish line!


Insyallah soon you will get those rewards from your own effort.

p/s: just a lil gift for you , see this video if you want to play your guitar. Learn some new chords , when you come home boleh la poyo ngn aku. Tcre kak! loves

Xmas in Zurich

When it comes to Christmas , I was the one who are very excited. Its not that we are celebrating the festival but I know the idea of Christmas is getting a present from family and friends. I just loved this giving present things as it is such a surprised rather than getting duit raya. Yeah I think I have my own Christmas experienced back then when our family are staying in Johor Bahru . I can't remember how is it the celebration but maybe we went to see my dad's friends. I can choose one box of present which is piled up at the Christmas tree. It was long time a go but still it keep remains in my memories.

Enough about the old stories , just want to let you know that Christmas in Zurich are so exciting. Its not even December they already put up the x mas light. The very famous Lucy Light which all over the Banhoff street and when you be there you will see its like snows falling down. It is such a nice view and from there you will know Christmas is coming!

This pictures are singing xmas tree where there would be choir up in the x mas tree. There would be so much people see the event and its so much fun when the kids also are singing together. :)

The singing Christmas tree :)

This is the lucy light , that lights up all the Banhof Street.

Don't you love all the details of it? Colorful ! Loved it so much!

This is the famous Swaroski Christmas tree which is made from crystal and diamonds.

I just loved to spend my days in Zurich and I know I will be heading back home soon . The one that I missed my family in Zurich and also my crazy double sided head friends Fatma. hehe

p/s: If you read this fatma , do cry for me and sing MOTHER LOVER SONG! hhahaha

another p/s: I am so lazy to fix my grammar. Sorry papa if you read this. I'll work it on next time. hahaha